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The tesco terror
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Lynx
Thu Aug 28 2008, 04:44PM

Registered Member #27
Joined: Thu Nov 15 2007, 04:41PM
Posts: 291
 Couldn't resist sharing this one... I'm inclined to take the hubby's side tho.

This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford:

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading from the toilets to the feminine products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry loudly and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the ‘Mission Impossible' theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position on the floor and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'
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pegk
Thu Aug 28 2008, 11:07PM

Registered Member #773
Joined: Sun Feb 24 2008, 10:53PM
Posts: 61
 That was so funny. Reminds me of when we go shopping. x
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megg
Fri Aug 29 2008, 12:30AM
Registered Member #22
Joined: Thu Nov 15 2007, 01:19AM
Posts: 209
 I would leave him at home, when I went shopping.
Favourite games - all settlers
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signwitch
Sat Aug 30 2008, 08:35PM

Registered Member #427
Joined: Tue Jan 15 2008, 01:16AM
Posts: 44
 the very reason i ALWAYS shop without him! ):)) thanks for the giggle!

[ Edited Sat Aug 30 2008, 08:36PM ]
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Justice
Sun Aug 31 2008, 11:17AM
The Dreamer

Registered Member #791
Joined: Tue Feb 26 2008, 03:02PM
Posts: 354
 Haha, brilliant got to remember those for later use!
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil, is for good men to do nothing.
- Edmund Burke
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